School Life

Welcome to Bulgaria, where if you survive through school, it's an achievement.
It's that time of the year where all the stress, homework, angry teachers, angry parents, fake friendships and low grades take over your mind and you fall into this sempiternal depression. It's like that for me, at least. I have the type of parents who don't accept any other grade than the highest one(yes, a B is low, it means you have failed) and I constantly have my electronics taken away.
Looking at all these facts, you would deduce that life in school sucks here, but it actually doesn't. If you're used to all this and look at it from the bright side, it's actually pretty fun. My amusement is listening to my "friends'" lies when I know the truth, staying up all night so that I don't wake up late, eating the yummy caffeteria food. Yes, school awakes an egoistic, deluded, self-serving demon in me, and to be honest this demon is starting to take over. School life, indeed.

An experiment

Soooo, today is 9/12/2014 and I am doing something I am not used to doing. I am actually record myself as I type. It will be a few separate recordings while I type. The interesing part is, I am trying to make it sound like an Internet Cafe. I want to try and play with the audio and somehow achieve the effect of an atmnosphrere. I do not know how to spell. I will keep this updated with how it's going.

Fifty Shades Of BORED.

Nothing's been happening.
Nothing.
At all.

I am too lazy to write the date/time today but my location is in a weird pose on my bed. I am trying to reach my phone which is charging like 4ft away from my bed. Thug life, bro. Anyway, I don't have a lot of time before my life gets filled with school misery.
Something interesting that happened the other day, though, is the fact that I cut my lip. It's a funny story, really, I stood up, my blood pressure fell down to Hell and I smacked into the door. How I cut my lip was the funniest part. I was holding a glass teacup. So the pieces of glass cut into my lip. The feeling of blood rushing to my head, the taste of blood and the adreline of the fall brightened my day. It brightened my cousin's day as well, it seems like. He died laughing at me. And of course, I hit him.

Cry

This is legit one day after my last blog because it's 3am. I can't sleep. It's so frustrating that I don't even know what to say. Nothing helps. No music, ASMR, stories or creams. Anyone got an idea what would help? Please comment.

Staying Up

Sun,7th Sept.
Somewhere in the basement

How funny. I have been staying here for a while now. Is it normal that most of the time I prefer to isolate myself from any type of human interactions? We live such lives filled with worthless relationships and passing-on people that we cherish every moment without people we have. It's sad in many many ways. In any case, this is a blog, so I shoud maybe talk about what happened today. I got in a fight with my little brother and broke one of the fingers on his left hand. Oops. Luckily, he is right handed. Sometimes I just feel the need to grab someone by the neck and kill them. I think it's called being frustrated with people. School is so close that I can almost feel the school atmnosphere in my room. The talk, the stained air, the gossip and laughter. It's all around me, I can hear it. The perks of schizophrenia - Free Virtual Reality(Tm) Simulation (0w0)b. And so, it's 4th day in a row that I pull up an all-nighter. All-nighters are refreshing. Trust me, more refreshing that people.

Old Remedy

Sat,6th Sep, 2014
Somewhere in  Hell.

"Nobody's reading your blog!"
Thank you for clearing it out. Anyway, I was off to England and it took me a while to get over the depression that I couldn't stay there. In any case, I am back, school starts soon, I have started writing my book, people seem to be more annoying than ever and especially, my favourite part, homicide. I came home to all the news booming about a guy who killed his daughter by beating her to death. It actually happened in  my town and my doctor was actually the one to do the autopsy to the girl. When I asked him about her, he made a face of denial and simply said "She didn't have a bone that wasn't broken.". This got me curious. How can you have a child, raise it, then just hit it to death? Life is so fragile, it's sad. In any case, I am as bored as ever and I can't wait for school to start so that I can finally amuse myself with how boring and fake other people are. And I just noticed, my bucket list is fun. There it is:

1. Do not kill anybody
2. Do not kill yourself out of boredom
3. Try to smile at people who's relatives have died so that they feel better
4. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT kill Grandma's cat
5. Try to feel better about yourself
6. Study hard and don't care about the bullies. They're boring

I just realised, this isn't a bucket list. It's more of a daily-how-to-survive-list. Welp, I'm off. Goodbye, guys!

A little message in the form of a rant

I don't know, 23th. July
Somewhere in a room.

More specific? On Earth. I was told by the person who made me start blogging that I need to catch people's attention. Longer posts, more details and who knows what. But you know what? I am not trying to impress anyone. You either like this blog, either don't. I am not obligating anyone to read it.
Another thing, I really got angry about one of my friends' advice that I should tell more about myself. As in to reveal my gender, my real name, where I live, post a selfie. But no.
For God's sake, this is my blog.
I write it for myself. And I don't want to share out any personal information. If I do, assumptions will start. Oh, so this person is this, it means he/she is this that
No.
Just no.
In order to be myself here I have to remain completely anonymous. Well, this IS the Internet, after all. If I share my info, who knows who will bump into it.
Imagine one of the people who hate me sees this. They will see my weak sides, they will know I am schizophrenic and they will smash it in my face. And since I lack the ability to lie, I would tell them that this is my blog.
So, no, I neither want advice, nor help with this blog.

A little piece of Friendship

I have many online friends. One just got flattered that I used his squirrel watching in my other blog.
"and it's fine to never name me
pls kthx. lol.
well, unless you gotta quote something i wrote
but let's not quote me. lol." -randomanonym 2014
Ha. Well sorry. I just guess I have those people who I just want to talk about here. You know, real life and online people you consider family. Yeah, one of them is this randomanonym. I neither know his face, nor his name yet he has helped me so much. There is also Kai, who won't let me meet up with him in London next week. There is my Chris, who made me feel special for the first time. Also Haro, Ina, Nicole and ton many friends who I just know through a screen. There are also the real life ones, although less. Dido, whom you know as DyoSoft, who was kind enough to actually link my blog on his site. My best friend since gindergarden, Maria(Mimi for short) and the dude who stalks me every day.
Did I spam enough?
Oh, random just updated his status.
Sigh.
I'll go get the ice cream .-.
Mon.21th.July
In a little room in Heaven

EDIT:
RANDOM'S ANSWER TO THIS BLOG ENTRY"
[19:32:45] Randyy~<3: PFFT
[19:32:48] Randyy~<3: PFFTTTT
[19:32:51] Randyy~<3: 8P

[19:32:53] Randyy~<3: and yus icecream

I like you, and so does me.

Schizophrenia is an interesting mentality. Don't you think so as well? I have been a schizophrenic ever since I remember myself. Honestly though, it all becomes easier when you get used to it. Or more of - learn to take advantage of it. Schizophrenia is a gift every artist needs. It's inspiration.
Have you ever wondered why many artists have mental illneses? We get our inspiration from them. And honestly, if you were to take schizophrenia from me, you would numb me.
Oh yeah.
Sun.20th.July
Where am I?
I don't know.
What's the time? It doesn't matter.

I nearly stepped on my new pet twice

Sat.19th.July
Somewhere near a lake in Bulgaria
After sorting life problems out with one of my online friends, he suggested me I go squirrel watching for my blog. Have you ever heard of people watching? Yeah, it's just like that but with squirrels. My mind set off swimming in extreme squirrel situations. But then again, if I don't get paid to sit in the park staring at squirrels with all those people around me I wouldn't really do it.
Then it came to me.
The best idea ever.
I decided that snail watching would be fun. You know, the slimey little fellows that eat your flowers and such? Yes, exactly them.
Luckily, it rained earlier in the morning so I went out and nearly stepped on a baby snail in front of my gate.
I took it and of course it immediately hid.
Going up to my room felt like forever, I was so excited to watch that snail.
Splendid.
It peeked out of its shell when I stopped to take a breath. It was adorable, a tiny little combination of dirt and only-we-chemists-know-what actually created a beautiful masterpiece of life.
Now, to everyone saying snails are boring - no. I watched it all day and I actually decided to keep it. It's 00:47am right now.
So while I am here typing, my new pet is eating some old iceberg salad.
Tell me again snails aren't cute.

Vanilla is a Colour

Fri.18th.July
Somewhere near a lake in Bulgaria
Did you know? Vanilla is actually a color. I didn't know that untill today as well. Some old lady was standing around the corner and she tried to sell me buttons. Of course she failed. But on the topic.
She saw that I won't buy the buttons and took one very big one out. It looked dirty yellowish with a tint of orange.
"This, my child, is a Vanilla-coloured button. It's a special one. Want to buy it? Only 50 stotinki it is!" she begged me. I wanted to get rid of her and so I bought the button.
When I got home I took my magnifying lense out. And what I found out was that it was actually a color different than any other. I compared it with some other things and realised the old lady was right. Maybe we should listen to old people more. Just my opinion.

The New Remedy

Fri.18th.July
Somewhere in Bulgaria
   You may wonder why I put this piece of information here. It's simple. As a person with a vague grasp on reality, I need to remind myself that I am here. Writing a simple date or location can help.
   And so, you would ask yourself why I am starting a blog. A friend thought it might help me. A remedy of some sort. He also thought it may be interesting, since I have schizophrenia. I don't know what mental illneses have to do with this. Maybe it's because I think differently?
-I don't know-
But anyway, I will not welcome you here. You came by your own choice and you may or may not stay by your own choice as well. I do not grant good content and lovely pictures. Thank you for the attention.